Do you know that there is a service in Auckland that can lend you the clothes for a special occasion? The special occasion being a job interview, not a date with Mr Potentially Right. Not only will they give you a white shirt and pointy shoes, they also promise some self-esteem boosting, a kind word of support and even a bit of life-coaching Oprah-style. Isn't it wonderful? And I thought I had nothing to wear! Of course you have to be referred by an agency (well, WINZ) and of course you have to be of a certain dress size (OO and 18 are probably equally out). Sadly it is not that New-York style bottomless designer wardrobe service where you can borrow a blue mink coat to wear to the opera on a cold night though.

1. The Chief Architect – can someone please put a stop to all those hideous apartamentos around Quay St – this is a cruise ship era after all, and just imagine what those cruisies are going to think of our city when sailing in from the Waitemata Harbour. Every time I go pass, I think of those sad flatblocks built in East Germany after the WWII – well, they had to accommodate as many people as possible on a very tight timeframe and budget – what’s our excuse?
2. Aqua Park – you know, one of those busy water entertainment places where anyone can ride a rubber donut down the pipe slide. Not that I want to ride along those screamy kids and their fat fathers, but if some tourists happen to visit and annoy me with their extreme sightseeing keenness, this is the place I would grudgingly send them to.
3. Healthy, healthy eateries! Not those hospital-like soup & juice places, where they sell you some green concoction and call it a “vegetable cocktail”, nor the endless sushi shops– I mean, who could eat sushi everyday? The Soup Kitchen on High St used to be very good – and different! – when they first opened, but alas – good gone bad in no time. I mean their Hungarian goulash used to be so thick a spoon would stand in it – now it is watery and miso-like. Shameful.
4. A couple of autobahns with very strict entry requirements – you know, high-powered cars and hip drivers only!
5. Somebody selling ice cream along the Eastern suburbs beaches – a friend of mine was actually going to do it and even rang the City Counsel for permission. Thank you, sir, - they said, - We will take that into consideration. Please be advised that you are # 87 in our line with this idea. Call it bureaucracy, but still – no ice cream for us!
6. Sixty more sunny days a year. This summer is probably the nicest in the century, which made me realise how much we actually miss out on.

To be continued.